Bears and Ticks Oh My!

Sharon was with me, We were looking for new campsites and parked to go on foot down this lane we were at. Sharon had to take her boot off and while standing outside the jeep I looked down the lane again and saw the bear, I said Sharon look a bear and she looked up and said get the camera and I said get in the jeep! The bear was standing by a tree when He saw us or heard us he took off. We drove down there and saw the tree, The bear had removed bark looking for grubs or? The height of the tree damage was around 9 feet. Sharon said to me "You know no one is going to believe us" She said "I'm NOT camping here, Lets go to our other site" I said Oh you think there are less bears over there! (1.5 miles away) HaHa
We parked again and got out, Walking a quarter mile looking for sites and blowing our bear whistles. Got back in the car and heading down the main dirt road I noticed a Tick on my pants then more ticks and more ticks I parked jumped out and brushed them off went to the back and looked for the spray and then we hosed each other down with it. Instead of camping in the woods we ended up going to our usual site that has large clearing 90 by 200 ft. We set up the ridge line, tent and tarps and while Sharon was finishing up with the sleeping bags and pads I sprayed myself with repellent, Took my sled the bow saw axe and machete and headed into the woods to start collecting firewood, I filled my sled and was heading back when I heard Sharon blow her whistle so I waited for her then we filled her sled and headed back to camp. Sharon prepared some kindling and I went and gathered enough Birch bark to get a fire going and we settled in and relaxed a while. Sharon made some noodles on a Esbit Stove and I boiled some water with an Esbit tab and a canteen stove and made some tea. When darkness fell we fired up the lantern and hung it from the ridge line and about 11 o clock we headed into the tent for bed. We lit a candle and snuggled into our sleeping bags, Sharon fell asleep and I was laying there thinking about bears WHEN all of a sudden I felt something on my shoulder! I grabbed it a TICK and threw it into the candle, Then I saw another one on my shoulder (T Shirt) I hollered at Sharon get up and help me! 5 Ticks now in hot candle wax stripped down wiped head to toe with repellent towelettes I finally get back in my bag with a serious case of the Heebie Jeebies. Not sleeping well at all I find and capture yet another Tick at 3:45 am I decided then we would cut our camping trip short. I got up 42° degrees out, Took my pajamas and all the other clothes and sealed them up in a water proof bag then bat-toned some wood and built a fire made a pot of coffee. After Sharon got up we started breaking camp and headed home. Ticks again, Now we are seeing ticks in the jeep! We stopped at a gas station so Sharon could use the bathroom, I found some Raid insect Killer for $6.49 plus tax and sprayed down the jeep. We made it home and did a Body search of each other for ticks. Sharon who claims super natural immunity to ticks has one under her bra! Then over come with Tick Itis she has something crawling in her hair and we find with a brush the Last Tick! Whew Hot Hot Showers and this adventure is finally over and I sleep for the next 5 hours.